Flyaway Tales Read online

  The peasant woman, who was cutting the vegetables for the soup, saw him immediately.

  “Hello big beautiful cat. Who are you? Oh, but I see you are wearing a collar with your name! Let’s see ... Mammone, so that is a good name for you! But tell me, are you hungry? Here’s a bowl of milk, all for you!”

  Mammone looked with astonishment at the peasant woman, who had been so kind to him and decided to please her by drinking all the milk.

  When she looked at him again the bowl was empty.

  The peasant woman was very surprised and turned to him again, “Hey Mammone cat, you’ve already finished? Did you eat enough?” She asked without expecting an answer.

  Instead he answered, “No, unfortunately, I only had a little milk, but since I’m still hungry now I will also eat you!”

  The cat put back his ears, raised his tail and in a flash had grown so much he could barely fit in the kitchen.

  He looked at the peasant woman, and, in one bite, ate her up. Then he turned around and went out, his usual size.

  He climbed up on a fence to see where he was and from there he saw the peasant man who was working in the fields.

  When he went closer, the man saw him.

  “Hey Mammone cat, hello! With you here I’ll take time for a little break.” Then he walked to the tractor and poured himself a glass of wine.

  “I see you have a big round tummy my friend. Did you eat enough? Do you want a little wine to digest?”

  As he had with the peasant woman, Mammone said:

  First white milk from a cup,

  Then ate a peasant woman up,

  And do you want to know, uh?

  Now I will eat you too!

  And that is what he did Mammone ate the peasant man and drank all his good wine.

  Then, very cheerfully, he walked away humming and waving his tail back and forth.

  As if he was having fun.

  After he had very carefully licked his whiskers, Mammone took the road that climbed the hill where a joyful pealing could be heard.

  As he went on his way he saw a young soldier coming toward him, who was wearing a backpack and whistling cheerfully.

  When they met up, the soldier, who did not suspect anything, smiled at Mammone and patted him on his head.

  “Hey beautiful big cat, so where are you going for your walk? So your name is Mammone, eh? Are you hungry or something? Want some chocolate?”

  The cat did not need to be asked twice and answered:

  First white milk from a cup,

  Then ate a peasant woman up,

  And with his good wine,

  on her husband I did dine.

  And do you want to know, uh?

  Now I will eat you too!

  He made a great leap with his mouth wide open and the soldier ended up in his belly.

  Mammone reached the village and looked for the church to find out what the noise was about.

  He was still wandering about nearby when he saw a priest come out of a door and he walked up beside him.

  “Hello Mammone cat!” he said, “you want to come with me? I’m going to church to celebrate Mass and I have to hurry, the bells are already ringing, and I certainly don’t want to keep the bride and groom waiting! If you’re hungry wait outside, I’ll take something from the wedding banquet, don’t worry...”

  But Mammone, who certainly didn’t know how to appreciate a good, kind heart, didn’t let the priest finish speaking and replied:

  First white milk from a cup,

  Then ate a peasant woman up,

  And with his good wine,

  on her husband I did dine.

  Wearing his big backpack,

  I gobbled the soldier as a snack,

  And do you want to know, uh?

  Now I will eat you too!

  Continuing on his journey, his stomach was so big he could no longer walk without it being noticed of course, he found the couple and the guests in the churchyard waiting for the priest who was strangely late. When they saw him coming, as he was all black, someone clapped their hands, someone else laughed amused as he was so fat and someone else shouted again saying, “Look, the priest has arrived!”

  The bride instead crouched down, stroked him and asked softly: “Hello, Mammone cat, have you seen the priest who should marry me? You know, usually we brides are late for the wedding, and the priest is not here and no one has seen him.”

  “I’d give you something to eat,” said the bridegroom, “but we only have this rice with us that must be thrown over us when we are married, and the banquet will begin later.”

  “Oh don’t worry, I’ve enough to eat here!” Answered the cat leaving everyone speechless, and then added:

  First white milk from a cup,

  Then ate a peasant woman up,

  And with his good wine,

  on her husband I did dine.

  Wearing his big backpack,

  I gobbled the soldier as a snack,

  I tasted the good priest at last,

  While he was on his way to Mass,

  And do you want to know, uh?

  Now I will eat you too!

  The cat became as big as a house and, before anyone could move, he ate everyone up in one gulp.

  Mammone’s belly had become very big, but it was not for this reason that he had less appetite. Some cannon firing had caught his attention. From the high ground, where the king of that country’s castle stood, the harbor, bay and sea could be seen.

  So, when the guards in the tower saw a pirate ship they immediately fired warning shots: Stay away or it will be worse for you!

  Mammone, though, headed cheerful in that direction, he arrived puffing and panting because he went uphill on the road and carried a great weight in his belly.

  “Halt! Who goes there!” Asked the guard at the gate.

  “I’m the cat Mammone I bring news to the king. I know how to free you from the pirates once and for all.”

  The soldier was stunned to see a cat speaking and thinking and nearly ran him through with his spear. Another soldier stopped him, “Wait, maybe you did not hear that this cat could solve our problems? Although it is very strange let’s take him to the king, he’ll decide what to do!”

  Mammone went before the king escorted by the two guards.

  “Sire, this cat claims to be able to free us forever from the hostile pirates!” Exclaimed a guard.

  The king raised an eyebrow and glared at the soldier. “This cat speaks? Haven’t I prohibited the drinking of beer while keeping watch?”

  “But it’s true, my lord, I do speak!”

  Without showing his surprise the king answered at once, “And how would, by grace, a simple cat free us from the pirates, if even my commander with the strongest brave men at hand can’t keep them away from our shores?”

  “Oh, but it’s very simple. I’ll eat them, ship, masts, sails and all the crew!” Mammone ended calmly.

  Hearing these words the king and the guards laughed so hard they almost fell to the ground.

  “No, you’re not a cat, you are a jester! And then don’t you think that you have already eaten enough?” Asked the king pointing at Mammone’s big belly.

  “You don’t believe me?”

  “Of course not,” replied the king still very amused.

  “But if I were able to do it, would you like me to help?”

  “We don’t talk nonsense. Yes, I admit that I would love to see those pirates put to flight and my realm finally at peace, but I can’t understand how you can help and why you insist on making fun of me. I’m starting to get tired of you, cat.”

  “All right then: I’ll show you. But first let me recite a nursery rhyme.”

  First white milk from a cup,

  Then ate a peasant woman up,

  And with his good wine,

  on her husband I did dine.

  Wearing his big backpack,

  I gobbled the soldier as a snack,

  I tasted the good priest at la
st,

  While he was on his way to Mass,

  Bride, groom and all the guests,

  With no trouble I ate all the best,

  And do you want to know, uh?

  Now I will eat you too!

  Quick as a flash Mammone turned and ate the two guards who had escorted him.

  “Soldiers, help me!” Cried the king feeling that he was in grave danger. But the cat Mammone put his huge mouth near the king’s hall door and lay down on his stomach waiting.

  All the soldiers ran into the royal hall to protect the king, but such was their enthusiasm in being the first to arrive they did not notice where they had ended up.

  Mammone closed his mouth and asked the king: “Do you believe me now?”

  “Yes,” replied the king terrified with the only voice he had left.

  “Too late, my lord. And then, you know, my appetite grows with eating.”

  The king joined his loyal soldiers in the huge belly of the cat.

  Mammone jumped on the windowsill to see what had become of the pirates.

  As the gunfire at the castle had suddenly stopped, the pirate ship had cautiously started to approach.

  It may be the king’s trick to try to sink them when they were in range, maybe close to the port.

  Mammone licked his paw and passed it several times behind his ear.

  How nice it is to be in the sun, he thought. Then he jumped down, walked through the empty halls of the castle and went down towards the sea.

  When the pirates finally decided to come to shore, they saw the cat Mammone waiting for them sitting on the dock with his black tail flipping restlessly this way and that.

  “Hey Captain Spreadblood, this is something you have to see!” shouted a pirate.

  Spreadblood leaned over and saw Mammone.

  “Now that’s a welcoming committee. How scary, let’s go! What has happened to the king’s soldiers, have you eaten them all?”

  The sailors laughed so much that they all almost fell into the water.

  “Yes, certainly. And I also ate the king, if you are interested!”

  All fell silent, listening to the cat answering the captain.

  In fact that cat just had a very big belly, but it was certainly impossible he’d done what he said.

  “Follow me to the fortress,” said Mammone “You can take what you want!”

  The pirates talked among themselves and eventually decided to accept a pact to be led by the cat. They did not want to run into any bad surprises from the king’s soldiers.

  And so it was that strange procession climbed up to the castle.

  No one fired a shot, swords and daggers were left in their sheaths, and no one was harmed.

  “This will not do,” said Captain Spreadblood sitting on the throne with sacks full of gold coins at his feet. “It’s no fun, no fun at all to grab everything without a fight, there is no honor. What would Blackbeard say if he could see us take all this away like this, without even threatening someone? No, it is not decent! It is against our good name!”

  “Men!” He yelled getting up, “Pocket all you want, carry what you can and return to the ship!”

  “You cat can come with us! Usually we throw liars to the sharks, but since you made us rich I’ve decided to keep you with us for good luck!”

  Back on board the brig swung wide.

  When it was evening the festivities began: they ate salted herring and drank rum and beer.

  The cat Mammone watched the full moon from the bridge, which seemed to follow the ship on its way out to sea.

  “Here kitty, kitty, kitty, here we have dinner. A beautiful herring all to yourself! How about that, is it enough or do you want the whole barrel!”

  Now the drunken pirates laughed at Mammone:

  First white milk from a cup,

  Then ate a peasant woman up,

  And with his good wine,

  on her husband I did dine.

  Wearing his big backpack,

  I gobbled the soldier as a snack,

  I tasted the good priest at last,

  While he was on his way to Mass,

  Bride, groom and all the guests,

  With no trouble I ate all the best,

  Behind the castle's stone walls,

  Stuffed king and soldiers all,

  in my mouth, I must tell,

  I ate them really really well.

  And do you want to know, uh?

  Now I will eat you too!

  But at that, rather than get scared, the sailors laughed even louder than before, some even fell off their chair.

  Very calmly Mammone walked aft and dove into the water along with the general laughter of the crew.

  Only captain Spreadblood ran to see.

  From the water rose a huge sea serpent all black. It was the tail of the cat Mammone that had grown so much that it had become as big as a mountain.

  He took up his position, opened his mouth, and all the sailing ship belonging to Captain Spreadblood, and his crew of pirates, masts, sails and all the rest were eaten up in one bite by the cat Mammone and no one could do anything about it.

  Tired and wet, Mammone walked to the mainland, where he lay down and fell asleep on the beach.

  Upon waking, he saw the night was giving way to the dawn and the moon was going down.

  Mammone saw her and asked, “Hey, you there, why were you following me last night? Why are you always looking down at me?”

  “Hello Mammone cat” replied the Moon “I was not following you. See I live so high that from up here I can see the whole world and I also saw what you did in the middle of the sea. You should be ashamed of yourself, that was not very nice. I hope at least that you have eaten enough now!” scolded the Moon.

  But Mammone was offended by those words and said:

  First white milk from a cup,

  Then ate a peasant woman up,

  And with his good wine,

  on her husband I did dine.

  Wearing his big backpack,

  I gobbled the soldier as a snack,

  I tasted the good priest at last,

  While he was on his way to Mass,

  Bride, groom and all the guests,

  With no trouble I ate all the best,

  Behind the castle's stone walls,

  Stuffed king and soldiers all,

  in my mouth, I must tell,

  I ate them really really well.

  Swimming in the deep sea blue,

  Captain pirate and his bad crew,

  All them ended their long trip,

  in my mouth with the whole ship.

  And do you want to know, uh?

  Now I will eat you too!

  Then he jumped with his mouth wide open and the Moon, rather than setting over the water like every other day, ended up in his tummy.

  With such a giant bite you might think that Mammone cat would finally be filled up seeing that he was now very much bigger than what you might think, and now also very, very round.

  But instead Mammone wanted to eat something bigger still and up came the right opportunity.

  “I have seen you these two days, cat! I don’t like how you’ve behaved, I don’t like it at all! You can’t continue to run around in the world eating up anyone who comes your way!” Exclaimed a powerful voice.

  Surprised, the cat looked around to find out who had spoken to him “Oh beautiful, and who are you to tell me what to do? Let me see you!”

  “But you can already see me, here I am in the sky, I am the Sun!” He answered as soon as he had finished rising up from behind the hill where Mammone was sitting.

  “Don’t you think you can stop once and for all? I say you’ve eaten more than enough!”

  “I eat until I am hungry and it seems to me. Indeed since you insist”

  First white milk from a cup,

  Then ate a peasant woman up,

  And with his good wine,

  on her husband I did dine.

  Wearing his big backpack
,

  I gobbled the soldier as a snack,

  I tasted the good priest at last,

  While he was on his way to Mass,

  Bride, groom and all the guests,

  With no trouble I ate all the best,

  Behind the castle's stone walls,

  Stuffed king and soldiers all,

  in my mouth, I must tell,

  I ate them really really well.

  Swimming in the deep sea blue,

  Captain pirate and his bad crew,

  All ended their long trip,

  in my mouth with the whole ship.

  In the sky the bright full moon,

  Followed me like a round balloon,

  I jumped up high and ate her too,

  Yes that is what I had to do.

  And do you want to know, uh?

  Now I will eat you too!

  “Ha ha ha! But you can’t eat me, I’m too hot, I live too high and then I’m too big...” said the Sun.

  Mammone cat, alas, had already jumped into the sky to eat the Sun, just as he had done with the Moon.

  But this time something did not work: as he got bigger, the cat always seemed to be the size of a speck of dust, as the sun looked like a huge mountain, ever higher and hotter.

  The sun was right: it was too big a mouthful even for him.

  Mammone refused to give up and tried to grow even bigger until he came too close to the sun and broke up into many grains of sand that flew away to the mouth of a volcano where he finished up in a sudden whirlwind.

  The black Mammone's belly

  that it was so big, really

  for the great and much too hot,

  burst like a huge firework.

  As if pushed by a spring,

  Out popped like jumping,

  a great crowd of wedding guests,

  the two peasants and pirates.

  First came out the Moon,

  Who flew up in sky thankfully.

  The pirates on the blue sea,

  back to sail on their ship,

  The king and his brave soldiers,

  came back to castle's frontiers.

  On bride and groom in the churchyard,

  fell rice like a blizzard,

  And the priest in a flash,

  ended sermon in a rush.

  Still the soldier run then out,

  To the shed, where he found

  The two peasants, poor dears,

  Even the good milk cup nears.

  And black cat Mammone,

  Very, very, greedy one,

  to have eaten too much,

  He finished in a Burst!